Heroes & Goats

HEROES

Cindy Sheehan Old American proverb: Mess with grieving mother and get swift boat up your ass. Word. Rove.

Hunter S. Thompson Late gonzoist gets his ashes blown from a cannon. Want more canon fodder? Blow up all the crap he wrote in the last decade or so.

Chaka Fattah Could well become our next mayor. Could also just as well drop his last name and be the opening act on a bill with the Intruders and the Delfonics.

"Gay Day at the Phillies" Protest group unfurls "HOMOSEXUALITY IS SIN. CHRIST CAN SET YOU FREE" banner. Gay fans way too busy eyeballing Pat Burrell's cut bod to notice.

GOATS

Sunscreen We're officially sick to death of sticky goo. Not that we read Philadelphia Style much to begin with.

Gas prices Wasn't Iraq said to be all about the oil? And now we're paying out the ass for gas? Could Bush have possibly screwed this up any more?

God Car bombs in Iraq and starvation in Niger are one thing. But taking down Christopher Reeve's widow? What's the deal?