Cunt hardly wait: Emerge promises to be the first ever Blue Ball for women.

Editor's Picks

Emerge/Blue Ball: Fusion

Emerge: Fri., May 5, 9pm-2am. $10-$15. TPDS, 114 S. 12th St. 215.873.0400. www.blueballwomen.com

Blue Ball: Fusion: Sat., May 6, 10pm-dawn. $75-$85. Electric Factory, 421 N. Seventh St. 215.627.1332. www.blueballphilly.com

As spring buds emerge from the snow, so do gay men from their shirts for this year's Equality Forum. The weekend kicks off at Woody's on Thursday, and Blue Ball: Fusion commences Saturday at the Electric Factory for what promises to be a total, uh, blowout. Ah, but not so fast—this year's parties won't focus solely on greased-up pecs and glow sticks. On Friday TPDS hosts Emerge, the first ever Blue Ball for women, an event planned entirely for women by women (who couldn't think of a disconcerting pun like Blue Ball). Organizer Tracy Buchholz stresses that the event is for all women—be they lesbian, transgender or one of those flip-flopping "bi-curious" girls they've got running all around college campuses these days. "We've gone out of our way to keep the party out of the normal clubs [like Bump and Sisters] to make women feel like it's something special," Buchholz says. More than 500 women from around the country are expected to attend. Pure resident DJ Melissa spins, and the event will also feature a photo montage of Philly's fillies. And remember, whether you blue ball or give it all, it's for a good cause. (Jessica Lussenhop)

Chong hits: Tommy (right), here with partner Cheech Marin in Nice Dreams, is back onstage.

>>THEATER

The Marijuana-Logues

Sat., May 6, 7:30pm and 10pm. $31.50-$39.50. Keswick Theatre, 291 N. Keswick Ave., Glenside. 215.572.7650. www.keswicktheatre.com

After more than a year's delay Tommy Chong is finally making his long awaited local debut in The Marijuana-Logues, initially scheduled for March 2005, at the Keswick Theatre. When Marijuana-Logues (which bears little resemblance to Eve Ensler's play The Vagina Monologues) played off-Broadway, it was a big hit. Delivered in a deadpan style by the show's writer/performers Arj Barker, Doug Benson and Tony Camin, critics hailed the show's silly but consistently riotous riffs on all things reefer. When the production hit the road, it signed on Chong, who along with partner Cheech Marin created the marijuana-fueled comedy film Up in Smoke. But when The Marijuana-Logues played Canada, Chong left the show, claiming the audience's penchant for puffing in the aisles was jeopardizing the terms of his parole. Seems poor Chong had spent nine months in the slammer for investing in an online "water pipe" company, and became a victim of John Ashcroft's notorious Operation Pipe Dreams sting operation. All ends well, however. After a bit of contractual nastiness with the show's producer, Chong has a book on the way, and he's back in The Marijuana-Logues this Saturday in Glenside. (J. Cooper Robb)

>>READING

An Evening With Seamus Heaney

Tues., May 9, 8pm. Sold out (simulcast tickets $6). Free Library, 1901 Vine St. 215.567.4341. www.library.phila.gov

The reclusive poet who grew up in Northern Ireland as the eldest of nine once again lends his voice to commentary on deeply divided societies when he reads excerpts from his new collection of poems District and Circle. Heaney, who won the 1995 Nobel Prize for poetry, has been consistently publishing his poems since 1959—when he was just 20—to his most recent collection at age 66. With wild, ashen white mad-scientist hair, Heaney fits the prototypical nutty professor image, with teaching credits at both Harvard and Oxford to match. His latest poems contrast his fond memories of underground travel during summer work in London with last July's devastating London Tube bombings. Heaney laments that District and Circle examines "eerie new conditions of a menaced 21st century." Heaney will read from and sign copies of the book, which will be released May 30. (Vanessa Pralle)