Mock 'n' roll: Edible imaginary animals rule our world.

A-List

“Kingdom of Magical Extinctions” Sun., April 1, 6pm. $5. Space 1026, 1026 Arch St. 215.574.7630. www.space1026.com

Unicorns are nothing but rainbow-hopping, faux-fem pretty boys who listen to the Smiths and pretend to be sad so they can con indie princesses into sleeping with them. Show these horn-headed, horse-faced, chick-hogging assholes who’s boss at “Kingdom of Magical Extinctions,” Space 1026’s food show where guests are invited to bring dishes made out of mythical or extinct creatures. So what if the animal doesn’t actually exist? Learn from Chinese restaurants that’ve been serving mock meat dishes for decades. Whip up your own whimsical creations—like spicy Pegasus wings in buffalo sauce or roast unicorn leg with mint jelly. Other delicacies made from extinct or nonexistent beasts might include braised raptor claws and a perennial favorite, the rational-thinking creationist pot pie served Dover-style (even though it always seems to come out half-baked). (J.L.R.)

>>Les Femmes

Hip and Fit Competition and Dance Party Sat., March 31, 8:30pm. $6. Sisters Nightclub, 1320 Chancellor St. 215.735.0735. www.hipandfit.com

To be considered the 2007 Hip and Fit Champion, you must have impeccable fashion sense, sport a smokin’ bod and be able to snap out a fierce walk in complicated shoes while covered head to toe in a glossy sheen of body oil. You also kind of have to be a lesbian. But just because you might not meet some of the requirements doesn’t mean you can’t offer your support and enjoy one heck of a combined beauty pageant/dance party. The Philly-based competition, which has spread across the country, is merely a lead-up to the national championship. The winner of this week’s semifinals will represent Philadelphia in the final, which will decide who’s the hottest lesbian in the country. Me. Let it be me. (Jean Luc Renault)

>>Ball Gag

Black-Tie Gay Bingo/Miss Gay Delaware America 2007 Black-Tie Gay Bingo: Fri., March 30, 6:30pm. $125. Crystal Tea Room, 100 Penn Sq. East. 215.731.9255. www.aidsfundphilly.org; Miss Gay Delaware America 2007: Sat., March 31, 8pm. $15. 2 E. Main St., Christiana, Del. 302.266.6600. www.missgaydelawareamerica.com

Chameleons are incredible creatures. They seamlessly blend into any background, shifting hue until they all but disappear. But there’s a problem with chameleons. They don’t wear clothes. And that stops them from being fabulous. Humans, on the other hand, don’t have that problem. Start your double dose of fabulous with Black-Tie Gay Bingo, an event put on by the AIDS Fund that includes dinner, dancing, bingo and enough ball jokes to last the rest of the weekend. The next night, for a completely different experience, try Miss Gay Delaware America 2007, the female impersonation pageant that’s anything but a drag. (Greg Halbreich)

>>Infanticide Show

Jenny Kanzler: “Creepy Sweet” Through April 7. free. 201 Gallery, 1400 N. American St., second fl. 215.236.2872. www.myspace.com/201gallery

Jenny Kanzler’s painting of cherub-like dead babies falling from the sky and landing on a tacky old mattress might put you off. But if it doesn’t, her purse full of bug carcasses probably will. The young Kanzler applies masterly technique and colors to her domestic-grotesque subject matter. Mattresses and bodies conjure up Vuillard on a bad LSD trip. Elsewhere, a girl’s toothy eating of corn on the cob in front of what might be mom’s open dresser drawer creates suffocating psychological angst à la Francis Bacon. The large, well-lit 201 Gallery in the Crane Building is a great new space in the city’s hot Frankford art corridor. (Roberta Fallon)