Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

The Six Pack

Six Miserable/Cynical/Violent X-mas Movies to Get You Through This Awful Holiday

by Matt Prigge

Black Christmas (1974): Long before he made A Christmas Story (and Porky’s), director Bob Clark kickstarted the slasher genre with this effective sorority house chiller, populated by boring Olivia Hussey and thoroughly unboring Margot Kidder. Feel free to substitute it with one of the many other X-mas- related horror/action pics—Silent Night, Deadly Night; Gremlins; Die Hard; Jack Frost (either one); etc.

Comfort and Joy (1984): After his klepto girlfriend whimsically dumps him mere days before the big holiday, Glasgow morning DJ Bill Paterson wanders around in a funk, eventually nursing his misery by getting involved in a surreally forthright tiff between rival ice cream truck companies. Another sorely neglected treasure from dry Scotsman Bill Forsyth (Gregory’s Girl, Local Hero) and a great movie about loneliness, period.

The Ref (1994): Before Bad Santa, some of us survived on this surprisingly primo (and unsurprisingly trash-mouthed) early Denis Leary vehicle, in which Leary’s thief hijacks a bickering couple (Judy Davis and Kevin Spacey) that would give even Edward Albee the willies.

La Bûche (1999): Against the backdrop of crass X-mas songs and tacky decorations, three sisters try to navigate prickly familial relations in the days leading up to the 25th. It’s like the Gallic Home for the Holidays—i.e., more subtle and, y’know, French.

Bad Santa (2003): “Fuck me, Santa. Fuck me, Santa. Fuck me, Santa ... ”

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007): I’d pay full admission price to watch unsuspecting families’ faces as they realize this X-mas release: 1) is a full-on musical, with plenty of difficult Stephen Sondheim tunes, and 2) features the highest quantity of bloody throat-slits since Ichi the Killer. The war on Christmas, indeed.