Hip-O-Meter

Feuds We'd like to see the Hilary Duff/Lindsay Lohan rivalry go down where it really belongs: IN the boxing ring!

Jay-Z Could soon be sitting pretty IN the executive suite at Def Jam!

Growing Pains: Return of the Seavers Call us jaded, but we can't help but think that Tracey Gold INtentionally engineered that whole DUI thing to garner publicity for this Disneyfied TV movie. (Alan Thicke: fat! Gold: pregnant! Kirk Cameron: irrelevant! We love it!)

OUT

Wing men Forget the time-honored tradition of the wing man. According to The New York Times, the latest trend is wing women--on nights OUT, they set up their guy friends to get phone numbers (and, presumably, action). Only problem: They work for pay! Didn't we used to call that an escort?

Jimmy Fallon He's always been OUT. We just thought you might need some reminding.

SO OUT, IT'S IN

Calling the Internet by a different name Yes, it was very cute to call the Internet the Interweb, but really, we'd grown tired of it. But then George W. was kind enough to give us another oh-so-funny name for the information superhighway in the second presidential debate: the INternets! Use it till you puke!

Send old Weekend Update tapes and Kirk Cameron posters to hip-o-meter@philadelphiaweekly.com